Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
"Can't you see I'm busy? I don't have time to do anything right now - you'll just have to wait. And please don't talk either because you're interrupting my story. What you mean..."what story?" The one that's going on in my head. It's a really good one too - I'm getting everything I want... fame, fortune, time and lots of friends.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
“I’m trying to hear what you’re saying...I’m trying really, really hard but your face doesn’t go with the words coming out of your mouth. They don’t match - the words and the face - they just don’t go together. I can’t listen to two things at once ya know...I get mixed up. Let’s see...which one do I listen to...the words...the face...the words...the face...which one?
Here’s an idea...take your face and words away somewhere and let them hash it out. After you do that, come back and I’ll be all ears.”
I must have a little ADD because sometimes I can become very distracted while talking with someone. It’s like there are three conversations going on at the same time. The words they are saying, the expression on their face and the voice in my head - all talking at once and all saying something totally different. At this point, I usually shut down - my eyes glaze over and I "check out" which usually makes me feel better in the moment but not in the long run. I’m left with a feeling that I could have done something else but what?
Two things come to mind - one, I could ask more questions and two, I could quiet the voice in my own head and listen more carefully to their answers. And who knows, maybe that would influence the face and words to start reading off of the same page.
What do you do when things don’t add up?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
"I want to be interested in what you're saying but to tell you the truth, it's boring. You just keep going on and on about the most uninteresting things...little things like - 'is it going to rain - how am I going to get to work if it snows - the leaves are clogging the drain on my roof' - WHO CARES? If you could talk about something that interests ME then I might be more interested in YOU.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
“That’s fine - really - that’s fine.
Whatever you want to do is fine with me.
Of course it’s possible we might run into some traffic or have a parking issue but if you think we’ll get there in time I’m fine with it - no problem, no problem at all.
In fact, we could even leave later if you want to. Huh? You want to leave later?
Or earlier...we could leave earlier it's up to you.”
I'm a "pleaser" - I know I'm a pleaser - no doubt about it. And sometimes I have to admit that in order to "please" I end up going along with something I have doubts about or don't agree with. Then when it all goes wrong like I predicted it would, I have to remind myself that I did have a choice and that I could have chosen to follow my gut instinct instead.
I've decided that sometimes, it's easier to "please" than to take responsibility for choosing not to trust my gut. Plus, in the moment, it just feels better to call the other person an idiot and talk about what I "should have done" rather than what I "chose" to do. Why? Because I'm a "pleaser" and that takes precedent.
So, the question is; how does a "pleaser" follow her gut instinct even though it may not please the other person? I guess awareness is the first step - owning up to my choice would be second. The third......?
What do you think?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
"I don't need an eye - I can see just fine with one, thank you very much. And I don't need you to loan me one of yours either because that won't do me any good.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
"Wow...it's pretty amazing up here - and flying through these cotton balls is a lot easier than I thought it would be! They're not as solid as they seem.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Nothing is wrong...
I don’t know what you mean...
I said I'm FINE...
you know what you did."
Sometimes I wish there could be some sort of special radio station that would allow my thoughts and feelings to travel directly into someone else’s head. I used to pout a lot when I was little - usually when I couldn’t do something like go swimming in the middle of winter. I remember my mother saying, “Sue, take that shnubble off your face.” She never asked me why I had it on there in the first place. But perhaps if she had, I wouldn’t have known how to express myself anyway.
It takes a lot to learn the language of feelings - even now, there are times I find myself at a loss when searching for words to describe them. Maybe one day someone will write a “Feelings” Dictionary that would include numerous ways to constructively communicate them.
What would you put in your "feelings" dictionary?
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Ya sure do a lot of things don’t cha? Can’t say I think ya do um too good neither. Just when ya start to get the hang of one of um, yur off and runnin’ to the next. Why don’t ya just sit a while and get to know it better before ya start do’n sumthin’ else? All this runnin’ around reminds me uh chasin’ chickens fir dinner.
Is it just me, or do you always feel like you’re chasing after something too? Then, just when I think I’ve caught what I want, something else comes along and I find myself running after that.
What would it be like to sit still for a while - to contemplate what I already have in my hands - to not feel the need to run from one thing to the next?
Maybe the question should be - am I running from one thing to the next out of need - or out of habit? Hmm....
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Come over here to my tent... you know you are dying to see what is inside. Why should I tell you what it is? You need to come in to see for yourself - it is so amazing I cannot even describe it. But I will tell you that it is something you have never seen before - something so exotic - so fantastic that when you see it you will be changed forever. The cost? What does the cost matter when you will be getting something that is priceless? Besides, I will not take your money, instead I will take something you cannot see and may not even be aware that you have. Your soul is an excellent exchange don’t you think? In fact, I doubt you will even miss it.
I can always tell when I’m being lured into something. I get this funny feeling in my solar plexus that literally feels like it’s tugging on me. At the same time that’s happening - I’m getting a faint message that this is not what it seems and should be avoided. Sometimes I have the ability to turn away and let the cord that’s attached itself to me to disengage - but sometimes for reasons I can’t quite explain I allow myself to be sucked in. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t be connected to my spirit and someone else’s cord all at the same time - it’s either one or the other.
What are you connected to?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Oh, thank you.....I like these lips too! I knew the minute I saw them when I was in the plastic surgeon’s office that I just had to have them.
So, when did you get your nose? I love it! I was going for that look too but she got a little carried away - so now I have to go in next week for a touch up. Maybe, I’ll have her add a little to my cheeks at the same time. I was looking in the super-duper magnifying mirror the other day and thought they looked a little skimpy. But, have you heard the latest? You can now do a total face exchange.
I’m going to get mine absolutely perfect so I can get the most for the trade-in.
I’ll admit it, I’m as vain as the next person. When I had my face-lift at 55 my sister thought I should get psychiatric care. I like taking care of myself; exercise, vitamins, facials and yes, the occasional Botox. But looking in the mirror, I’m wondering when to start the “phasing out process” - you know, what you see is what it REALLY is?
All I can say is... I’m “thinking” about it. I’m aware that sooner or later I’ll have the smoothest face in the world, but will also have the most uninteresting face. Besides, it won’t hide my age because like the “Forever Young Woman”, it will just look like I’m wearing someone else’s face. My mother often says she can’t believe she’s got so many wrinkles. I ask her if she thinks it’s because she’s ninety-five? But, that doesn’t compute for her because, inside her spirit is still young no matter what she may look like on the outside. Maybe that’s why some of us have a hard time. The outside that’s aging doesn’t match the inside.
How do you feel inside?
Monday, October 12, 2009
Hey, what do you want from me? I get bored, that’s all. When I want something, I want it and I want it bad. Nothin’ stops me - I’m like a dog diggin’ up a bone - I know it’s down there and I’m gonna get it. It’s not personal or nothin’ -- just the way I am. Sure, I chew on it a while, but then my nose starts sniffin’ out another bone and the bone I’m workin’ on just doesn’t taste too good anymore. The only way I’ll get interested in that bone again is if someone else wants it -- then it starts to smell good all over again.
Have you ever wanted something so much that it’s all you can think about?
You feel like you just have to have it, you see yourself with it - how your going to use it or wear it or be with it and just know that it’s meant to be yours. So, we save our money or pull out our charge cards or start calling that person and before you know it, it’s ours. But it’s never what we expected - never quite what we thought it might be. I’m starting to think that the best things in life are the things that happen without expectation, without need, without the “want” behind it. An unexpected gift.
Are there things you can’t live without? Or, what unexpected gifts have you received?
Sunday, October 11, 2009
You can wear all the perfume you want but you can’t cover up that smell. No-sir’ee, this nose will sniff it out, figure it out and point it out too. I have no idea what it’s all about. What do you think I am anyway, a private investigator? Besides, that’s not my job - my job is to use this appendage to take a whiff and give my opinion...no more, no less.
When I sense someone’s trying to overlay the facts with something other than the truth I rarely challenge them. Instead, I extract the idea and hold on to it - kind of like taking an item off of the shelf and adding it to my grocery cart at the super market. Then, at some point in the conversation when the basket starts to over flow, I find myself “checking out.” I’m no longer hearing the words they are saying but rather focusing on the ones I’ve collected in the cart. Why is it so hard to follow my instincts and challenge the discrepancy in the first place? Perhaps it’s easier to just make up my own story but what does that accomplish?
What do you do with tidbits of information that don’t add up?
Saturday, October 10, 2009
"Gee, I don't know. There are so many choices here. So many fun things to do that I just can't decide. Hmm.....okay, I think I'll do this. NO WAIT...maybe this. Yes, this looks like the right thing. I can't wait to.....to.....hmm....I don't know. Now THAT looks REALLY interesting! THAT could be it - maybe it IS it! I'm sure of it. Wait..........."