Tuesday, October 20, 2009
THE SCARED-y-CAT - 15/365
"Help! What am I doing? What if I can't do it? What if I do it wrong? What if I do it right? What will people say? What if it doesn't make me happy? What if it makes me happy but I can't keep doing it? What if I can't stop doing it?
I'm going to have to stop what I'm doing and think about this. I'm going to have to answer every one of these questions before I can go any further. Yes, that's it...that's what I'll do. Whew... that's better...I can breathe again and I don't have to be scared...for now."
I have often wondered where my fear comes from. It used to stop me from starting or finishing so many things - from balancing my checkbook to straightening my closet. I won't mention the really important things that were inhibitied because of fear.
It still creeps into my consciousness now and then. Like this blog for instance. What if the faces all start to look alike? What if no one reads the blog? What if those who see it think it's stupid? What if I can't think of anything to write? And on and on and on I go. But that's the point isn't it? To have these thoughts - to feel the fear - but to do it anyway. Because in the end, either way I might fail. I might not succeed in what I'm doing but I would definitely feel like I've failed if I don't even try.
What's scaring you lately?