"Yes, I made that decision but I made it because no one stopped me from making it. Why didn't they stop me?I'm tellling you that it's not my fault - I would have done something else if someone would have just TOLD ME that I was making such a BAD choice! Why didn't they tell me?
In fact, I think they pushed me in that direction. Yes, they PUSHED me - that's exactly what they did. So now, someone else is going to have to fix it because I can't fix something that's not my fault."
My Reflection:
Whether I have been influenced by someone else or wish someone had influenced me, taking responsibility for the decisions I make isn't always easy. When things don't go the way I plan, I begin the "backtracking" process. First, I try and figure out why I made that choice, then I think of what I would do differently if I could do it all over again. That's not necessarily a bad process if I would just stop there but, oh no, I feel the need to keep going.
I find myself looping back to the "why" part and if it involves being influenced by others, I start going down the "I was right...they were wrong....I should have listened to myself....why did I listen to them?"...road. That road, of course, leads to the land of "nowhere" and once I'm there I tend to get lost for a while. Until, that is, I find the "get over it" road that leads me back to a place where I can move forward. So, why can't I just take that road in the first place?
Question:
What road are you on?
5 comments:
this couldn't be more like my day today. sometimes i'm blaming others and I don't even know that I'm doing it. then once i realize it i try and change my behavior and apologize to those my blaming behavior affected. But...then...I do it again the next day and have to apologize again. once the cycle starts it doesn't stop until i give up trying to control my behavior and accept myself for all that I do...good choices and not so good ones.
Sounds like you're saying that all roads are leading us to "acceptance."
You pose a real dilema, Do we love ourselves enough and have enough faith in ourselves to just go ahead and do what we have decided to do or are we always doubting ourselves? Why do we always need someone elses opinion. How do we know they are right. I think, that individually, we need to support ourselves. Its just easier to have someone else involved with our actions because that way if we went down the wrong road we can share the blame equally.
This is a hard one because I know I am usually asking someone else "what do you think?" Personally, I need to be more self-assured, that way if I am wrong I can only better myself from the mistake.
You bring up some very interesting questions and thoughts about confidence and responsibility that many may share. The confidence in ourselves to make our own decisions and the ability to take responsibility for the outcome of those decisions. If confidence is the key - where do we find that? AND...do you think that asking for another's opinion can be of value as long as we ultimately take responsibility for the decision?
Yes.............and where do we go from there. I am not sure if I personally will ever know which is right. Possibly there is no right and wrong, just alot of IFS, WHATS,BUT..... AND POSSIBLITIES..Patti
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