THE ONE-EARED LISTENER -315/365

listen with one ear

get half the wrong side of the story

and believe you have all

of the right answers

THE WISE OLD FART - 121/365

"Listening to you gives me gas...I try to hold it back and not pass along my thoughts on the matter but all that ever does is give me a stomachache.

So, I've decided to let you have it...just let it go...get it out of my system. If you don't like it...well...you can always plug your nose, hold her breath or leave the room...take your pick."

My Reflection:

Sometimes I think my life experience entitles me to not only have an opinion but to share it as well. The problem is, an opinion that has not been asked for usually isn't valued - which leads me to think that in spite of all that experience - I too have much to learn.

So perhaps when I feel the urge to express my opinion, I'll remember that practicing my ability to "listen" may be more valuable than the "experience" I'm inclined to share.

Question:

How do you share your wisdom?

Clay Ingredients:

Sculpey Translucent

Holtz Distress Powder (vintage-photo)

THE DONOR - 117/365

"I've given away almost everything I have...there's not a lot left but go ahead and take my lips too...no one's listening to what I have to say anyway."

My Reflection:

Is it the fault of others when I feel I'm not being heard? Or, have I simply given away too much of my own integrity by not listening to myself?

Question:

How much do you give away?

THE MARKSMAN - 77/365

"Hey... I'm trying to understand your point of view but you're message just isn't hitting the mark."

My Reflection:

I sometimes wonder if I could receive communication more effectively if I had a bull's eye painted on my head to mark the optimum point of entry.

However, perhaps it's not the information going in, but my inability to hear it properly due to all of the background noise - noise created by my own competing thoughts.

I may be better off if I learn to quiet my own mind before seeking to understand that of another.

Question:

How much "background" noise interferes with your ability to "listen?"

THE PEACEMAKER - 70/365

"Frankly, I think you're BOTH nuts but, of course, I won't say this out loud - instead I'll pretend I'm interested in YOUR side of the story then HIS side then YOUR side then HIS side...on and on and on until I think my head will explode.

I wonder what would happen if my head DID explode and all of my REAL thoughts were to hit you in the face? I suppose that would bring the two of your together now wouldn't it?"

My Reflection:

When I find myself in the middle of two people at odds, it's important that I remain neutral in order to help bring about a peaceful solution. But is it really possible to feel "neutral?" And is it MY job to keep the peace - shouldn't I allow people the opportunity to work through their own conflicts?

I'm beginning to learn that I can be much more helpful when I simply listen, acknowledge someone's feelings and wait patiently for them to come to their own place of peace.

Question:

How do you feel about conflict?

THE UNIVERSAL ANTENA - 69/365

"Sh...can't you see I'm listening to the voice of the universe? Don't think around me when I'm "tuned-in", it's distracting.

If you're going to think then think somewhere else. This is IMPORTANT information I'm getting here and your mundane thoughts are very annoying."

My Reflection:

As much as I try to "quiet" my mind, erratic, sudden burst of scattered thoughts are always present. As I bat one away, another moves in like a fly buzzing around my head determined to find a place to land.

The more I try and "control" them - the more "out of control" they seem to be. Perhaps thoughts can never really be "controlled" - only "observed" and if I really listen to them without the need to answer OR control them, I'll also begin to notice the gaps of silence in-between.

Question:

How do you notice the silence between your thoughts?

THE DISTRACTED - 29/365

"I can think a lot better if I'm listening to something else while you're talking. These headphones are perfect because they totally drown out all of the other noise including the sound of your voice.

Oh, don't worry...I can understand you. I'm reading your lips and looking at your body language so I totally get what you're saying. What? Uh, wait...wait just a second...

.....no, don't put it over there it doesn't go there, it goes over here......

Okay...now what were you saying?

Wait....where are you going? I'm listening...really I am...I don't know why you're running off like that!"

My Reflection:

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the number of communication devices I'm plugged into. Between my mobile, computer, phone, email, text messages, Facebook, Linkdin, and now this Google blog...I feel like I can't keep up. I could sit in front of my computer for an entire day and still not FINISH what I'm trying to accomplish. No wonder so many people are diagnosed with ADD. How did this happen?

When my brother calls from New York, he will often ask why I have to "multi-task" while I'm talking to him. He says he can hear me washing the dishes or typing on the computer or making dinner. I brush him off and tell him that if I'm going to accomplish everything I need to do I have to do more than one thing at a time. But, do I? Wouldn't it be nice if I just took the time to sit down and talk to him without doing anything else? And who says I'll get it all done anyway?

It reminds me of when my father was alive and every day when I called to check in he would always asked the same question, "Suzi, did you get everything done today?" I always said "no" and went into all of the things that I still had to do. One day, when he asked I thought for a minute instead of answering right away, I said, "No Daddy, and I probably never will." It dawned on me in that moment that in his own quiet way, he was trying to get me to see that point all along.

I've often thought of that conversation and I suppose that if I'm not going to ever get it all done anyway then multi-tasking is really just a big distractor. Yes, it's true that the task might get done but at the expense of some pretty important connections - the people I care about most.

Question:

How do you connect?

THE LISTENER 24/365

“I’m trying to hear what you’re saying...I’m trying really, really hard but your face doesn’t go with the words coming out of your mouth. They don’t match - the words and the face - they just don’t go together. I can’t listen to two things at once ya know...I get mixed up. Let’s see...which one do I listen to...the words...the face...the words...the face...which one?

Here’s an idea...take your face and words away somewhere and let them hash it out. After you do that, come back and I’ll be all ears.”

My Reflection:

I must have a little ADD because sometimes I can become very distracted while talking with someone. It’s like there are three conversations going on at the same time. The words they are saying, the expression on their face and the voice in my head - all talking at once and all saying something totally different. At this point, I usually shut down - my eyes glaze over and I "check out" which usually makes me feel better in the moment but not in the long run. I’m left with a feeling that I could have done something else but what?

Two things come to mind - one, I could ask more questions and two, I could quiet the voice in my own head and listen more carefully to their answers. And who knows, maybe that would influence the face and words to start reading off of the same page.

Question:

What do you do when things don’t add up?