THE WHIMP -296/365

the ability to stand

for a conviction

may depend on how

necessary it is to be liked

THE PLEASE ER - 294/365

others will be pleased

when YOU are

THE WARRIOR - 235/365

the true warrior

has the strength to win a fight

but not the need to have one

THE OPINIONATOR - 196/365

it takes a lot of

self-confidence

to share an opinion

and even more

to listen to one

THE PRAISE SINGER - 97/365

"I'll make you a deal...I'll sing your praises if you sing mine. I'm a really good "praise singer" too...in fact there's no one better.

What do you mean you don't need to sing mine because I'm already doing it?"

My Reflection:

Receiving praise can make me feel good AND uncomfortable all at the same time. I tell myself I don't need it but when I don't get it I wonder where it is. And then, when I receive it should I give it back?

Perhaps I'll feel more settled when I learn that "praise" is simply "appreciation" that needs to be graciously received or honestly given.

Question:

How do you deal with "praise?"

THE MASQUERADER 86/365

"We've already met - I'm the guy next door. You probably don't recognize me because this is my REAL face - the one you saw last week was a mask."

My Reflection:

I suppose, like everyone else, there are certain thoughts and feelings I try to keep to myself. But that's usually when my face takes on a "mask-like" quality...like an itchy wool sweater I'm not comfortable wearing but would feel even less comfortable going without.

Inevitably, wearing the sweater becomes unbearable and that's usually when I find "unmasking" myself to be a welcome relief from the strain of pretense.

I'm learning that for me, "courage" comes from the willingness to reveal what is hidden and the "confidence" to accept it as it is.

Question:

How do you "unmask" yourself?

THE TEAM PLAYER - 78/365

"I'd like to express my opinion but I'm a "team player" so that's not possible. It's not possible because if I had my own opinion then I wouldn't be a "team player" anymore and if that were to happen then WHO would I be?

No, I'd rather know who I am even if I don't always like who I am rather than NOT know who I am and not like that either."

My Reflection:

Transformation is a difficult process that requires a good deal of "trust" that somehow everything will turn out okay. I guess that's why, at times, I have to be dragged into the "transformational arena" where I'm sure there are supernatural entities just waiting to eat me alive. And like The Team Player, I'd just assume stay where I am rather than face the unfamiliar.

But I'm learning that the more I allow myself to "let go" of the "familiar" place I'm in, the more I learn to trust my ability to end up in a better place than I could have ever imagined.

Question:

What's your "transformational" level of comfort?

THE CHOOSER - 61/365

"Either I'm happy or you're happy and since I can't make YOU happy, I'm choosing to make MYSELF happy. Why not? You're not going to choose ME so I'm going to do it.

You don’t have to be mad at me for choosing myself. Why don't you just choose YOURSELF and then we'll BOTH be happy....sort of.”

My Reflection:

Choosing what I want to do is not always easy. Why is that? Am I so conditioned to please others that I’d rather disappoint myself instead?

Perhaps taking responsibility for my own happiness, involves the willingness to disappoint others without blaming them for my decision.

Question:

How willing are you to disappoint someone?

THE NARCISSIST - 58/365

"How do you like my doo? Isn't the color FANTASTIC? I can hardly walk down the street without someone telling me how fabulous I look. And, what do you think of the little accent piece? It cost so much I won't eat for a week - but that's okay...I'll dine on "praise" any day."

My Reflection:

I'll admit that I like praise. I love it when someone likes what I'm wearing or is interested in what I'm doing. I don't think I'm a narcissist, but how do I like the praise without depending on it? How do I enjoy an other's interest without needing it to feed my own?

Perhaps the more joy I find in the exploration - the less I'll depend on others to approve of the "outcome."

Question:

How dependent are you on the praise of others?

THE O'PEAR - 55/365

"I want you to know what I do - that's why I wear it on my head. If I didn't, how else would you know? And if you don't know what I DO, then how would you know who I AM?"

My Reflection:

I hate to admit it, but there are times when my self-esteem seems to be connected to the opinion others have of my activities. I will often be asked..."so, what are you doing?" And if I don't have a..."I'm saving the world" answer, I feel like I'm just taking up space.

Instead of worrying about what others think, what if I...

DO what inspires me

DO as much as I can for others

but in the end,

"DO" less

&

"BE" more

Question:

HOW do you do what you "do?"

THE CHOKER 45/365

"Wait...I can't answer right now...can't you see I'm choking to death? Give me just a minute - as soon as I'm dead, I'll give you that information."

My Reflection:

There are times when I'm asked a question that is a little too personal but, for the life of me, I can't think fast enough to avoid answering. That really makes me mad...at myself.

Why can't I just return the question with a question like..."WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW"?

OR...have a coughing fit like "The Choker."

I could also just stare at them...count to ten...anything but answer right away.

But instead, I stutter - I stammer - then feeling like an idiot...give them the answer.

Question:

What do you do when you don't want to answer a question?

THE IMPRESSIONIST - 43/365

"I'm getting ready to go out. I'm not "out" yet but I'm getting ready. "Getting ready" is important - if you don't "get ready" to go and and just "go out" then you're probably going to look a mess and that's not a smart thing to do.

If you're going to be taken seriously in this world then you need to look like you're going out into the world "on purpose" not by accident. For example, if you're dressed in sweats and a t-shirt with an ugly cap on your head then it's going to look like something caught you by surprise - something you weren't prepared for - something that is in control of YOU instead of you being in control of IT.

So, which is it, do you want people to think things control you or that you're in control of things. If you want the later then you're going to have to put some thought into GETTING READY."

My Reflection:

My sister always told me to never - no matter what - never go out in hair curlers or without make-up because you never know who you're going to run into. And sure enough, whenever I try and sneak out - just for a few minutes - just to pick up something at the store...sure enough, I run into people I know. Or, someone I haven't seen in years and I find myself making all kinds of excuses...."oh, I should have known I'd run into someone dressed like this"...."oh, I was just running out to pick up some medicine...I don't usually look like this...blah, blah, blah."

It's unfortunate that how we look makes an impression and for some people, they don't care, but unfortunately, I've been conditioned to care. I can say that it shouldn't matter and if people don't like the way I look...tough...but the truth is that I'm the one who's embarrassed not the other person and no matter how many times I try and run it through my head that it's "ok" to just be "me" ...it's not.

Question:

How do you present yourself?

THE CLOWN - 35/365

"I like to make people laugh. If they think I'm funny they won't think I'm stupid - they'll think I'm just "acting" stupid but not REALLY stupid. I don't think I could make it in this world if people thought I was really stupid, however, I don't mind if they think I'm dumb. Dumb means you can't possibly get it right because you don't have the ability to figure things out so, of course, you're going to do dumb things. But stupid? Stupid means you have the ability to be smart but you just do something stupid which means you are REALLY stupid and might as well be dumb."

My Reflection:

Why is it I'm so afraid of looking like I don't know what I'm doing? Is that so terrible? What do I care what people think? Why do they have to think I'm smart? What difference does it really make? And if they think I'm NOT smart, what will happen exactly?

I don't have the answer to these questions - I just ask them because I don't know anyone who wants to look stupid. I don't know anyone who is comfortable doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing...well, that's not entirely true. My husband doesn't care. He really doesn't care what anyone thinks. It just doesn't faze him one bit and I'm envious when I think how freeing that must be.

Question:

How stupid are you willing to be?