THE HERSHEY KISSER - 44/365

"I'm not one for showering affection on others - a little peck on the cheek or an "air smooch" is about as far as I'm willing to go. What's with all the "touchy/feely" stuff anyway? What's wrong with a wave of the hand or a nod of the head? Not good enough? Do we have to make contact in order show people we care? Well...I'm done with all of the physical stuff...especially with the swine flu situation. I'm starting a new fad...how do you like my "hershey hat?" One look and consider yourself kissed."

My Reflection:

Sometimes I want to move in close and sometimes I need my distance. Can't a smile (as long as it's genuine) be enough? Some people are really good huggers and others just hug heads - from the shoulders down they're about ten feet apart.

And then there's the question about hugging strangers - people you meet for the first time. Sometimes I get the urge to hug someone and then I feel kind of embarrassed because I don't really know them but I've just made physical contact with them.

I think it would be easier if we all had some kind of tattoo that identified our physical contact tolerance - like a blue ice cube for a cold fish, a warm sun for a contact giver/receiver and a red hot poker for...well..you know.

Question:

What's your tolerance for contact?

THE IMPRESSIONIST - 43/365

"I'm getting ready to go out. I'm not "out" yet but I'm getting ready. "Getting ready" is important - if you don't "get ready" to go and and just "go out" then you're probably going to look a mess and that's not a smart thing to do.

If you're going to be taken seriously in this world then you need to look like you're going out into the world "on purpose" not by accident. For example, if you're dressed in sweats and a t-shirt with an ugly cap on your head then it's going to look like something caught you by surprise - something you weren't prepared for - something that is in control of YOU instead of you being in control of IT.

So, which is it, do you want people to think things control you or that you're in control of things. If you want the later then you're going to have to put some thought into GETTING READY."

My Reflection:

My sister always told me to never - no matter what - never go out in hair curlers or without make-up because you never know who you're going to run into. And sure enough, whenever I try and sneak out - just for a few minutes - just to pick up something at the store...sure enough, I run into people I know. Or, someone I haven't seen in years and I find myself making all kinds of excuses...."oh, I should have known I'd run into someone dressed like this"...."oh, I was just running out to pick up some medicine...I don't usually look like this...blah, blah, blah."

It's unfortunate that how we look makes an impression and for some people, they don't care, but unfortunately, I've been conditioned to care. I can say that it shouldn't matter and if people don't like the way I look...tough...but the truth is that I'm the one who's embarrassed not the other person and no matter how many times I try and run it through my head that it's "ok" to just be "me" ...it's not.

Question:

How do you present yourself?

THE THINKER 42/365

"Thinking about things takes a lot of time. First, you have to acknowledge there's something to "think about." Then, you have to go about the "thinking process" in a way that will allow a new idea to break through your consciousness. With each new idea, you have to start the "thinking process" all over again - going over the new idea with a fine tooth comb which helps to generate more new ones.

Obviously, the process takes forever. In fact, it's an indefinite process - and with no end in sight, provides endless hours of thinking and re-thinking issues over and over again.

I hope I've provided you with some "food for thought"...I'm certainly "thinking" about it myself."

My Reflection:

Thoughts can be dangerous. In fact, I think thoughts should come with a warning sign..."think carefully...can be dangerous to your mental stability."

Our minds are powerful tools and can produce thoughts that are used to solve problems that benefit many - but the mind can also be used as a "weapon of mass destruction" - poised to strike at reason and wisdom - or defensively hold on to a strategy we think might be safe.

I've heard that meditation is a great way to "tame" the mind and gain control over the unruly beast. But it's a discipline that requires commitment and perhaps some "faith" that sitting quietly and "not thinking" can produce the kind of mind that is thoughtful not thoughtless - focused not scattered.

Question:

Without "thinking too hard" - do you think there is a benefit

to practicing "not thinking?"

THE WAFFLER 41/365

"That sounds like a really good idea - I'm all for that idea. Of course... it might be a little premature to commit to that particular idea - in fact the more I think about it the more I think that it might be better to go with the first idea. Yes, the first idea sounds best.

The first idea is definitely more sound - unless things change and then the second idea could be better than the first. So, I'm leaving the door open in case I want to choose the second idea instead. In fact, I'll just choose it now...yes...I'm choosing the second idea because, more than likely, things are going to change and in that case the second idea is best.

On the other hand, I may need to re-think the whole thing and come up with a totally different idea. So...maybe I should just think about this and let you know."

My Reflection:

In my next life, I'm definitely not coming back as a Libra. Don't get me wrong - I like being a Libra (most of the time) - it's a great sign with lots to offer but sometimes I wish I didn't see so many different sides to everything. It would be nice to see one side and one side only - of course it would have to be the "right" side.

But, what's the "right" side and what makes it "right" as opposed to "wrong?" What is right today may be wrong tomorrow. Or vice-versa. And what if nothing is "right" or "wrong" but just a different experience? Of course who wants to have a negative experience? I can't imagine calling a friend and saying, "hey, guess what...I just had the most amazing negative experience!"

I'm wondering if there's a way I can choose which experience to have and not think of it as "right, wrong, positive or negative"...probably not but it's worth thinking about.

Question:

How do you rate your choices?

THE MEMORY - 40/365

"So, you'd like to forget about that incident huh? Well, I have to say..."too bad" - what you want to forget I always remember and what you want to "remember"....well - you know the rest.

Why should I be cooperative? What's in it for me? I like the fact that you have to rely on me and I don't like it when you take me for granted so, occasionally, I have to let you know who's boss.

People depend on me for so many things - when I don't function optimally it can be a little...how should I say..."humiliating." A failed test - a forgotten name - a missed appointment...TORTURE, TORTURE, TORTURE - just what I do best!"

My Reflection:

I am convinced that my memory is a completely separate entity, having nothing to do with me - with a mind of its own (so to speak) - and its own personality. It fails me regularly - especially when I need it most and could care less if I'm humiliated or embarrassed. It's not very empathetic and when I beg or plead it totally shuts down.

I find that it works best when I pretend like I don't really need the information that I seek. Many times I casually indicate that if I don't have it, it's not the end of the world. But, in the end, it will still withhold a name like a bear hiding her cub and won't give it up no matter how many times I dangle the alphabet in front of it.

Maybe it's hungry and I just don't feed it enough or exercise it like I should and if I did - it would like me better and embarrass me less. Ya think?

Question:

How do you treat your memory?

THE COOL GUY - 39/365

"Why should I take these sunglasses off? I like the fact that you can't see my eyes. Why do you need to see them - they're just the normal color brown...not too big, not too small...you know, just normal.

To tell you the truth, I like the fact that you don't know if I'm looking at you or not. Most of the time I'm probably not - but occasionally, I'll glance your way.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable...well...I guess I'm not sorry. If your comfort was my priority, I wouldn't have them on in the first place now would I?"

My Reflection:

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul and that if you look into a person's eyes when they are talking to you, you can tell if they're telling the truth or if there is more to the story than they are sharing.

But sometimes, I'm just not ready to bare my soul to the public. Sometimes, I'd just like to keep my "soulful" thoughts to myself. I don't cover up my eyes but I wonder if that's what people who wear sunglasses indoors are hoping to accomplish? Are they trying to keep their inner most thoughts to themselves or are they just multi-tasking? Looking around to see who else might be more interesting to talk to while they are pretending to talk to me? If that's the case, is it okay to ask them to take them off?

Question:

What do you think the dark glasses mean?

THE PLEASANT GUY - 38/365

"Isn't it a pleasant day? I love pleasant days - of course unpleasant days are okay as well because on those days you have time to do things you wouldn't ordinarily do on pleasant days. But, there's nothing like a "pleasant" day.

On pleasant days I think of how pleasant everything is and it just gives me a warm feeling all over. I don't understand why more people don't appreciate pleasant days like I do. If they did, we'd probably have fewer unpleasant ones, don't you think?"

My Reflection:

My goal is to always be pleasant but I'm not sure that people remember "pleasant" - do they? People usually remember unpleasant or difficult or gregarious or goofy but they don't usually remember "pleasant."

Now, if I didn't care to be remembered I suppose it wouldn't really bother me would it? Then, "pleasant" would be just fine. But, I'm a little embarrassed to say that I'd like to be "remembered" in some way but the truth is...I do.

So, maybe I've got the wrong goal. Maybe the goal shouldn't be to be more "pleasant" but more "memorable" ....hmmm....so what does that mean?

Question:

"Pleasant" or "Memorable"....which is it for you?

THE UNAWARE'ER - 37/365

"What nail? I have no idea what you're talking about. How could there be a nail in my head? WHY, would there be a nail in my head? That's just silly...do you think I would be here talking to you if there was a nail in my head? Would I be smiling if there was a nail in my head? NO... so obviously, there's no nail in my head...it's just you, making assumptions AGAIN!"

My Reflection:

Okay, so a nail in his head is a little over the top...but every time I make an assumption I could kick myself - particularly the times it seems SO OBVIOUS that I "assume" I'm not making an assumption!

What is the saying...."if you smell smoke then there's probably a fire"? I guess if you smell smoke it could be a weenie roast but a fire's a fire...right? Maybe not.

Every time I make assumptions I get into trouble. I always need more information but, of course, I don't know that I need more because I "assume" I have all the information I need. When will I learn...how can I learn...is there something I can do?

What if I ask just one more question...just ONE MORE when I think I have all the answers? Of course the key is to REALLY ask - ask to understand - to gain more information NOT to substantiate my assumption!

Question:

Do you "ask" or do you "assume?"

THE ANTICIPATOR 36/365

"I can't wait to see what's going to happen next. What do you think is going to happen huh...huh...huh? It's so exciting - just thinking about it is enough to send me over the edge. In fact, I don't think I want it to ACTUALLY happen - I think I'd just like to anticipate it happening...that's much more fun. Don't you think?"

My Reflection:

There's something about the anticipation of an event that can be more exciting than the event itself. Why is that?

Maybe things play out better in my imagination than they ever could in reality. Is that a bad thing? Should I keep my expectations low so that I'm not disappointed by the actual event? Or, am I projecting into the future too much and need to be more present? That's always the case so I guess I can count on that being an accurate statement.

There are times when I have an experience that is more than I could have ever expected and it always feels joyful. Like buying a lipstick and an extra one for free. How can I get that to happen more often?

Question:

Are you pleasantly surprised or regularly disappointed?

THE CLOWN - 35/365

"I like to make people laugh. If they think I'm funny they won't think I'm stupid - they'll think I'm just "acting" stupid but not REALLY stupid. I don't think I could make it in this world if people thought I was really stupid, however, I don't mind if they think I'm dumb. Dumb means you can't possibly get it right because you don't have the ability to figure things out so, of course, you're going to do dumb things. But stupid? Stupid means you have the ability to be smart but you just do something stupid which means you are REALLY stupid and might as well be dumb."

My Reflection:

Why is it I'm so afraid of looking like I don't know what I'm doing? Is that so terrible? What do I care what people think? Why do they have to think I'm smart? What difference does it really make? And if they think I'm NOT smart, what will happen exactly?

I don't have the answer to these questions - I just ask them because I don't know anyone who wants to look stupid. I don't know anyone who is comfortable doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing...well, that's not entirely true. My husband doesn't care. He really doesn't care what anyone thinks. It just doesn't faze him one bit and I'm envious when I think how freeing that must be.

Question:

How stupid are you willing to be?